We, the Shop Dogs of Parnassus, have been busy. The store was closed for a while, and then the store opened up again. That was exciting. Stalwart dog employees moved away, young pups came in. You can’t just walk out on the floor and call yourself a shop dog the first day on the job. It’s not all biscuits and tummy rubs around here (although, to be fair, it’s mostly biscuits and tummy rubs). This is a career, friends. To be a Shop Dog requires a level of excellence few average dogs could dream of attaining. So after a long period of internship, it’s time to introduce you to the newer members of our team.
We’ll start with Marlee.
Marlee is a border collie. Her ancestors herded sheep for a living. Because Marlee lives in the city and there are no sheep, she sells books with us. Sometimes she sees us as sheep, and we don’t tell her the difference. Old habits die hard. Marlee is a very smart dog, but she tries not to lord it over us. She went to school and got a license to be a therapy dog, which means that while the rest of us have to wait in the car while our shop people go to the grocery store after work, Marlee gets to go into Kroger with Heather. The nice woman at Starbucks gives her something called a Frozen Puppocino in a to-go cup. We hardly think this is fair.
Marlee also knows how to jump through a Hula-Hoop. Hula-Hoop, Hula-Hoop, Hula- Hoop. We never hear the end of it. Of course we know how to jump through Hula-Hoops as well. We just don’t feel like it. Go to the back office and ask Marlee to jump through a Hula-Hoop. She feels like doing it all the time. She also can do synchronized dancing, which we could do too, if we felt like it, which we don’t. Marlee also chases her own shadow. Frankly, we wouldn’t be caught dead chasing our shadows.
Marlee was born deaf. It turns out it’s a fabulous quality in a Shop Dog, because while the rest of us are driven witless by the sound of the approaching UPS truck — yeah, we’re looking at you, Charles — Marlee sleeps right through it: the arrival, the unloading, the departure, the entire thing. You’d need a piece of bacon to wake her up. I guess all that Hula-Hoop jumping and synchronized dances wears a gal out after a while.
While the Shop Dogs as a group are still in full debate as to whether not the Summer Olympics should be held in Tokyo, Marlee is unequivocally in favor of the games proceeding. That’s because she’s in love with Simone Biles. She wants to be Simone Biles’ dog. She thinks they could do a magnificent floor exercise together.
Marlee doesn’t kick back very often, but when she does, here are some of the titles she recommends:
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Musing 