Anything Books Can Do, Shop Dogs Can Do Better

gracie welcome

Good day. I’m Gracie Coffman. If you’ll pardon me for speaking frankly, I’d like to point out that visitors to our shop have been spending an awful lot of time fawning over books. This book, that book, another book . . . one rectangle after another. We understand, of course. Books have a certain appeal — they smell nice, and some of them are shiny. But perhaps you’ve forgotten how scintillating your canine hosts and hostesses are? I suggest you turn your attention floorward, because this place has so much more to offer than what’s on the shelves. In fact, anything you might enjoy about a book, you can enjoy even more about a shop dog. Allow me to elaborate — 

Books Are Colorful

Oh, look. It's like a rainbow of books.
Oh, look. It’s a rainbow of books.

Dogs Are Also Colorful

(OPIE! COME CLOSE!) Everybody, look how colorful Opie is. Black, brown, and white. He's THREE colors on ONE dog.
(OPIE! COME CLOSE!)
Everybody, look how colorful Opie is. Black, brown, and white. He’s THREE colors on ONE dog.

 

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Books Make You Say, “Awww”

You think this is cute?
You think this is cute?

Dogs Make You Say, “Dogs Are AWWWWWESOME.”

Then get a load of this: Bear can do the same thing AND he's not a cat.
Get a load of this: Bear can do the same thing AND he’s not a cat.

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Books Tell You to Become a Better Person

Sure, books can teach you about manners.
Sure, books are full of chapters about manners.

Dogs Demonstrate Exactly How To Be a Better Person

Or you could learn manners firsthand, from this guy: "Hello, you've reached Parnassus Books. My name is Sparky. How may I help you today?"
 Wouldn’t it be more fun to learn manners firsthand from this guy? “Good morning, and thank you for calling. You’ve reached Parnassus Books. My name is Sparky, and I like biscuits. Do you like biscuits also? How may I help you today?”

* * *

Books Make You Smarter

If you read even one of these great biographies, you'd be able to pass for a historian. That's true.
Fact: If you read one of these biographies, you’ll be able to pass for a historian and recite many interesting facts.

Dogs Make You Look Smarter

Or you could spend just a minute with me, and learn how to make this face - which you can then repeat at dinner parties, where everyone will assume from your pensive expression that you are a GENIUS.
Why read a whole book when, with one simple lesson from me, you can learn how to make this face? Pull out this pensive expression at dinner parties, and everyone will assume you are a genius.

* * *

Books Use Clever Metaphors 

"Far from the tree" refers to the old saying, "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree." This book discusses how parents deal with children who do, in fact, fall far from the metaphorical tree -- that is, they are different, disabled, or special in some way that sets them apart from the rest of their family.
The old saying, “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree,” actually has nothing to do with apples  or trees and everything to do with heredity and families. That’s a literary device, you see.

Dogs Don’t Need Clever Metaphors

Eleanor Roosevelt and a tree. It doesn't mean anything. It's just cute.
As Eleanor Roosevelt demonstrates, you don’t need fancy symbolism when you have simple cuteness. It is what it is.

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So the next time you come into the store, go ahead and browse the books (if you must). But remember to pay some attention to the furry creatures at your feet, too. We stand ready to impress you.

sincerely, gracie

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Great Expectations (Hardcover)

(Shop dog’s note: Because “D” is for Dickens, but also for Dog.)
$22.00
ISBN-13: 9780143123798
Availability: Usually Ships in 1-5 days
Published: Penguin Books, 11/2012
$29.95
ISBN-13: 9781617690570
Availability: On Our Shelves Now
Published: Stewart, Tabori, & Chang, 10/2013
$16.99
ISBN-13: 9781401604615
Availability: On Our Shelves Now
Published: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1/2012
$39.99
ISBN-13: 9780061740237
Availability: On Our Shelves Now
Published: William Morrow, 10/2011
$35.00
ISBN-13: 9780684824901
Availability: Usually Ships in 1-5 days
Published: Simon & Schuster, 10/2005
$21.50
ISBN-13: 9780743236720
Availability: On Our Shelves Now
Published: Scribner, 10/2013