Notes From Ann: Love, Loss, and What I Read

Let’s start with love.

I’ve known Niki Castle since she was 19. When she was a sophomore in college she used to babysit for my sister Heather’s children. Everyone in my family was attached to Niki right from the start, and it’s an attachment that has served us well over the years. Not only is she now the Events and Marketing Director at Parnassus, she’s also the person who decided I should write a book of essays, and badgered me and nagged me until I came up with This Is the Story of a Happy Marriage. Niki and I have a deeply symbiotic relationship, which is to say we help one another and count on one another. So when Niki asked me if I would throw an engagement party for her and her fiancé, Andrew Coffman, at Parnassus, I said yes, of course, but on one condition — I wanted them to get married at the engagement party. I wanted to throw them a surprise wedding.

Why a surprise wedding? Well, many years ago I used to write for Bridal Guide, and the whole wedding industry is one I don’t have warm feelings for. Weddings, though sometimes joyful, are also ridiculously expensive and filled with pressures and expectations and burdensome traditions. In short, they are often more work than they are fun. Niki and Andrew are fun people, and I wanted them to have a fun wedding. So the three of us decided to keep the secret, telling only Brenda Wynn, Nashville’s beloved County Clerk who would perform the ceremony, and the brilliant Sharon Glassmeyer, who attended to all the details of the party so perfectly beautifully. On February 22, after the store closed, Niki slipped into the back and put on a wedding dress her mother made, while Andrew was making a toast to a crowd of family and friends and booksellers. (click here for a video clip of the toast!) Five minutes later they were married. The guests cheered and clapped and cried. They were not only surprised, they were thrilled to have witnessed such happiness. We are so grateful to Niki and Andrew for letting us have that beautiful memory be part of the history of Parnassus.

Which got me thinking about great love stories, stories in which characters who are loving and kind and appreciate one another and find each other and do not die or go insane. Love stories that are both intelligent (ah, there’s the catch) and happy. It’s a small subset of literature. Even though things work out for Kitty and Levin, they don’t go well for Anna and Vronsky. I can come up with the titles of brilliant, tragic love stories all day long, but that’s not what I want for Niki and Andrew. I think it’s why so many of us love Jane Austen, because her books allow us to be both smart and romantically fulfilled. If it’s been awhile since you’ve read Persuasion, Pride and Prejudice, Emma, or Sense and Sensibility, I suggest you go back and read them again. And while you’re at it, pick up a copy of Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s Love in the Time of Cholera. Now there’s a love story for you.

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Loss.

My sister Heather’s husband, Bill Herrick, died at the end of January. There aren’t any words for our sadness. Bill was irreplaceable and none of us have figured out what we will do without him. Every time I walk in the store I think about Bill. He made the community bulletin board and chalk board you see when you first come in the door. He made the coffee bar, which wound up being the gift wrap table because we never got coffee. He made our display tables, and, most importantly, he made the entrance to the children’s section, a spectacular open book that he carved and rested on top of two pillars. Bill was talented, generous, smart, and endlessly self-effacing. I will miss him every day of my life, but I’ll also be glad that his work helped shape Parnassus.

After Bill died I read Pema Chodron’s classic, When Things Fall Apart. Chodron is a Buddhist nun and teacher, and the advice she gives in this book should not be reserved for times of tragedy. It’s about how to live more fully, how to deal with what comes to you, and how to keep your heart open. It’s helped me a lot. I’ve also been thinking about the books I’ve read in my life that have made me cry. There aren’t many. The wonderful writer Willy Vlautin was in the store last week, and the two books of his I’ve read, Lean on Pete and The Free both made me cry because they’re so compassionate, so willing to look at the kind of lives that are rarely portrayed in literature. Jonathan Safran Foer’s novel Everything is Illuminated made me cry and it also made me laugh out loud, which is a pretty amazing feat. Charlotte’s Web made me cry every single time I read it. I could pretty much cry just thinking about Charlotte’s Web. Sometimes you want a book that’s as sad as you are. It’s a comfort.

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Along with the love and the loss, we’ve also had some straight-up good news this month. You’ve probably seen in the newspapers or heard on the radio that the author James Patterson has pledged a million dollars to independent bookstores around the country. His primary goal is to make sure kids are reading, but the money is given with no strings attached. It can be used in any way the booksellers see fit. And while the money is nice, I think the real benefit is that Jim Patterson is out there talking about bookstores and reading and the importance of keeping stores healthy and thriving in our communities.

Patterson and I were co-chairs of World Book Night last year and the national kickoff was held at Parnassus, so he knows our store and has been a friend to us. We were thrilled that Mary Grey James, who does such a great job managing the children’s section, took the initiative to write a smart and moving proposal about getting books out to low-income children. In doing so, she won a grant for Parnassus. We are all grateful and so incredibly proud of her. Please give her a pat on the back the next time you’re in the children’s section.

Karen and I get a lot of credit for all the good things that happen in the store, but we’re just two pieces of an extensive mosaic. What the store really is is a conglomerate of smart people bringing the best parts of themselves to their jobs. Whether it’s Niki organizing the terrific event with Malcolm Gladwell last week, or my brother-in-law Bill making the entranceway to the children’s section, or Mary Grey using her talents to write such a heartfelt proposal about the importance of children reading, this store is something that we’re making together. We have a new employee, Amy Shepard, and we look forward to seeing what she’ll add to the mix.

If for some reason you missed the reference in the title of this book report, be sure to pick up a copy of my friend Ilene Beckerman’s book, Love, Loss, and What I Wore. She deserves full credit.

Come in soon.  There’s sure to be a dog somewhere in the store in need of a tummy rub.

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Read along with Ann:

Love, Loss, and What I Wore (Paperback) By Ilene Beckerman $10.95 ISBN-13: 9781565124752 Availability: Usually Ships in 1-5 days Published: Algonquin Books of Chapel Hill, 4/2005 Other Editions of this Title

This Is the Story of a Happy Marriage (Hardcover) By Ann Patchett $27.99 ISBN-13: 9780062236678 Availability: Usually Ships in 1-5 days Published: Harper, 11/2013 Other Editions of this Title

Pride and Prejudice (Paperback) By Jane Austen, Tony Tanner, Vivien Jones $8.00 ISBN-13: 9780141439518 Availability: Usually Ships in 1-5 days Published: Penguin Classics, 12/2002

Sense and Sensibility (Paperback) By Jane Austen $7.00 ISBN-13: 9780141439662 Availability: Usually Ships in 1-5 days Published: Penguin Classics, 4/2003

Persuasion (Paperback) By Jane Austen, Gillian Beer $6.00 ISBN-13: 9780141439686 Availability: Usually Ships in 1-5 days Published: Penguin Classics, 4/2003

Emma (Paperback) By Jane Austen,  $8 ISBN-13: 9780141439587 Availability: Usually Ships in 1-5 days Published: Penguin Classics

Love in the Time of Cholera (Paperback) By Gabriel García Márquez $15.95 ISBN-13: 9780307389732 Availability: Usually Ships in 1-5 days Published: Vintage, 10/2007 Other Editions of this Title

When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times (Paperback) By Pema Chodron $14.00 ISBN-13: 9781570623448 Availability: Usually Ships in 1-5 days Published: Shambhala, 1/1997 Other Editions of this Title

Lean on Pete (Paperback) By Willy Vlautin $13.99 ISBN-13: 9780061456534 Availability: Usually Ships in 1-5 days Published: Harper Perennial, 4/2010 Other Editions of this Title

The Free (Paperback) By Willy Vlautin $14.99 ISBN-13: 9780062276742 Availability: Usually Ships in 1-5 days Published: Harper Perennial, 2/2014 Other Editions of this Title

Everything Is Illuminated (Paperback) By Jonathan Safran Foer $15.99 ISBN-13: 9780060529703 Availability: Usually Ships in 1-5 days Published: Harper Perennial, 4/2003

Charlotte’s Web (Paperback) By E. B. White, Garth Williams, Kate DiCamillo $7.99 ISBN-13: 9780064400558 Availability: Usually Ships in 1-5 days Published: HarperCollins, 5/1974

Middle School, The Worst Years of My Life (Paperback) By James Patterson, Chris Tebbetts, Laura Park $7.99 ISBN-13: 9780316101691 Availability: Usually Ships in 1-5 days Published: Little, Brown and Company, 4/2012 Other Editions of this Title

I Even Funnier: A Middle School Story(Hardcover) By James Patterson, Chris Grabenstein, Laura Park $13.99 ISBN-13: 9780316206976 Availability: Usually Ships in 1-5 days Published: Little, Brown and Company, 12/2013 Other Editions of this Title